UT Tyler Psi Chi

The Back Says

-IF YOU ARE OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE, PLEASE PRESS 1 REPEATEDLY
-IF YOU ARE CO-DEPENDENT, ASK SOMEONE ELSE TO PRESS 2 FOR YOU.
-IF YOU HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES, PLEASE PRESS 3, 4, 5, AND 6
-IF YOU ARE SCHIZOPHRENIC, PRESS 7 AND WE'LL TRANSFER YOU TO THE MOTHESHIP
-IF YOU ARE PARANOID, WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU WANT, PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE UNTIL WE CAN TRACE THE CALL.
-IF YOU HAVE LOW SELF-ESTEEM, PLEASE HANG UP. ALL OPERATORS ARE TOO BUSY TO TALK TO YOU.
-IF YOU ARE ANOREXIC, PLEASE PRESS #.
-IF YOU HAVE ADHD, PRESS
THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE PSI CHI HOTLINE